Category Archives: #FoodForThoughtFriday

May 20, 2020 · 2:00 pm

Modest Holidays #F4T #wickedwednesday

  • A modest stamp
  • The Beach Scavenger Hunt

Oh, how I’m longing for, hoping for, praying for … a holiday this summer.
So, so much !!!


I look forward to it every year of course … but this year even more than ever.


Family holidays were always nice of course … and over 18 years with our two children, we enjoyed some lovely vacations in lovely resorts and locations. Always somewhere different, always different activities …

But then, when our young ones had flown the nest, we had the opportunity … actually the necessity, to book an early summer break … out of school-term time … and at short (one week’s) notice.

No plans, no thoughts, no expectations, we just said to each other “let’s just do something, go somewhere where we can just chill, no responsibilities, no phones, no emails, just to relax … just for ourselves”.


So we walked into our local Travel Agents and said exactly that … “and we’d like to leave next Saturday”.

I’ll never forget it … the young lady looked up and said “well we specialise more in long-haul, adventure holidays, safaris … that sort of thing!”

Hubby said, “ok, we’d just thought we’d ask, we’ll try the other place around the corner!” (This was when there were still three Travel Agents in our high street).


“Well … wait a moment, take a seat.” she said. “Have you ever been to ……
(an island in Greece)?” she asked.


“Not that particular island” Hubby replied. “But we’d love too, we’ll take it thanks, won’t we K?”, he looked across at me and we both burst out laughing … both thinking back to our very first holiday together thirty-eight years ago.

Some things are just meant to be aren’t they!!! Because it was simply magical.

Not just the fact that our question took us back to Greece. Not just because it took us to that particular island. Not just because it took us to that particular, out-of-the-way, isolated, spot on that particular island. Not just because of the beautiful places we discovered, the wonderful tiny tavernas, the lovely welcoming local people we met.

Just because … well … because you can’t really explain magic can you?


And … as boring as it may sound … we’ve returned to that exact same spot,
every summer, ever since.


So that is why … as I said … I’m hoping, praying that I can add more special moments to my holiday memories above!!!

This week’s theme at Food For Thought is “Holidays”, which of course got me remembering … and then … Wicked Wednesday‘s “Statistics” had me counting all the months and years!!!

For more thoughts just tap the F4T and Wicked Wednesday buttons below.

Food For Thought Friday
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Xxx- K

Pour Modesty Ablaze A Glass of Wine

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April 22, 2020 · 1:57 pm

Modestly Locked #F4T #wickedwednesday

Mistress Modesty Caged 1

I’m quite used to lockdowns of course. . . .

Mistress Modesty Caged 2

In fact, over the past few years . . .

Mistress Modesty Caged 3

. . . it’s become quite a popular request . . .

Mistress Modesty Caged 4

and something that I must admit . . . I’ve come to quite enjoy!!!

But, it should go without saying that this current situation is
completely different. So I sincerely hope you won’t think I’m trying to belittle,
or make fun of things.
 Because I’m certainly not.

And I really do hope that you, and all of your nearest and dearest, are well and healthy . . . and are able to stay that way.


This week’s themes at Food For Thought and Wicked Wednesday are both about the current Lockdown we all find ourselves in. For more thoughts tap the F4T and Wicked Wednesday buttons below.

Food For Thought Friday
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Xxx- K

Pour Modesty Ablaze A Glass of Wine

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March 13, 2020 · 8:00 am

Modest Sporting Moments #F4T

We all enjoy sports of one kind or another don’t we? Even if, like me, one is never likely to become a champion. It is still fun to imagine from time-to-time. You know what I mean . . . to grasp bat and ball(s), to swish and swing a club or racquet, to stride across the green, to grace one’s local football stadium . . .

  • Woodland Aerobics
  • In the Cricket Nets
  • Prepping for the Tour-de-Hoxton
  • Synchronised Swimming
  • Cross-Country Running
  • On the Putting-Green
  • Lifeboat duty for the power-boat races
  • Underground Caving
  • Finding one’s balance at The Skateboard Park
  • The local Bowling Club
  • Checking the waves
  • At the Sailing Club
  • On the Tennis Court
  • Modesty Ablaze at the Football Stadium
    Matchday at the football
  • The Modesty Steeple-chase

As this week’s theme at Food For Thought is all about “Sports”, I thought it would be fun to share some of my sporty-memories from the past few years.
For lots more Sporting Moments tap the F4T button below.

Food For Thought Friday

Xxx- K

Pour Modesty Ablaze A Glass of Wine

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March 5, 2020 · 9:00 am

Making Modest Dates #F4T

Mistresses Pointy Cane

I’ve never really got on with organising dates in any of those computer spreadsheet programs, or even on the calendar in my phone.

I realise that in this day and age it will be considered as terribly old-fashioned, but I much prefer to enter all my sessioning appointments, and important dates, in hand-written form into my diary. It’s what I always did before computers and mobile phones . . . and it’s what I shall very probably continue to do, for the foreseeable future.

So, rather than having to awkwardly scroll through my phone screen or turn-on a computer, I just reach into my handbag and turn to the appropriate page and entries in my diary. It’s quicker and easier to note my appointments and session bookings . . . and means I won’t forget.

But woe betide if you do . . . or if you are late. I can’t abide late-comers.
It makes me cross and impatient . . . and . . . over-excitable !!!

There will be lots more thoughts on “Dates” and “Dating” at this week’s
Food For Thought. Just thumb-through the button below.

Food For Thought Friday

Xxx- K

Pour Modesty Ablaze A Glass of Wine



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February 13, 2020 · 9:00 am

Modest Letters of Love #F4T

The Modesty Ablaze Diaries

The current theme at Food For Thought is “Love Letters” . . .

Now, I’ve always enjoyed receiving flattery and gifts or presents . . . and still do
. . . LOL !!! So I suppose it’s true to say that I am a “romantic” at heart.

And although I don’t think I’ve ever specifically composed a “Love Letter” to Hubby, he’s often referred to my sharing with him the scribbled notes in my personal diary, as being the best letters of love and lust that he could ever have wished to receive.

I’d begun noting coded entries in my diary when I began my earliest affair, just a few years into our marriage. Just short references to the when’s and where’s of my (at that point, guilty and clandestine) meetings with my “lover”. It was in truth, an office fling that I’d thought was a one-off, silly, spur-of-the-moment indiscretion. Something that the guilt and immorality of our liaison would, or should, never be repeated.

But, the thrill . . . the difference . . . the excitement . . . became an obsession. Something I couldn’t resist. A thirst I just had to quench.

Until of course, on the sobering journies home, the wrenching feelings of guilt and shame . . . and the lies and excuses I knew I would have to make . . became more and more unbearable as the “never again” flew into weeks . . . and then into months!

I’ve mentioned before (and on my “The More I Have” page) how the unforgettable release of the inevitable confrontation . . . and my confessions . . . changed our life, and turned our love into something even more wonderful than either of us could have imagined.

This was all long, long before we had home computers of course (and decades before Modesty Ablaze). But when Hubby asked about the “when’s and where’s”, and I showed him my diary notes, his excitement and arousal was so joyously obvious!!!

So, in our newfound freedom, my affair . . . and then shortly after that, my affair(s) . . . blossomed.

The aftermaths of my “evenings out” then quickly grew from just Hubby waiting-up on the sofa for me to return home, to the thrill (for both of us), of me scribbling out my blow-by-blow memories into diary form for him to read again and again, in the days and weeks after the event. Until the next one!!!

And many excerpts from those diaries . . . lovingly cherished and re-read from time-to-time . . . have subsequently been used as chapters in my The Modesty Ablaze Diaries E-books.

So, probably not “Love Letters” in the form in which they would normally be described, but certainly “letters of love” in every sense for us !!!

There are sure to be lots more on “Love Letters” and “Romance” at this week’s Food For Thought, by clicking upon the button below.

Food For Thought Friday

Xxx- K

Pour Modesty Ablaze A Glass of Wine



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November 21, 2019 · 9:45 pm

A Modest Swinging Question? #F4T

I’ve been prompted on a number of occasions over the past few months that I need to update my “Swingers Club” pages as some of the Clubs mentioned appear to no longer exist.

However, things have been so hectic this year . . . particularly since we returned from our summer holidays . . . that I still haven’t managed to properly research or make those changes.

Partly because Hubby and I don’t actually indulge in our “clubbing nights out” as much as we used to.

There was a period, a few years ago, where every other weekend seemed to be spent at our favourite “local” club . . . or if not there . . . meeting privately with “friends” we’d met there previously.

And I do admit to revelling in the excitement of discovering those new friends and new situations, and that wonderful “freedom” of discovering those new
fun and thrills.

But, as with all things I suppose, the excitement and expectation of that uncertainty of possible new adventures, began to wane.

I knew what I liked, I’d met lots of new people whose company I enjoyed . . . so our visits gradually became less regular.

Besides which, I’d also discovered some new fun and, new-to-us, fetish clubs that we’d learnt about through my new femdom hobby. And whilst there can sometimes be a cross-over between “swinging” and “bdsm” clubbing,
the two were, from my point-of-view at least, different experiences and a different direction.

But although our visits to our “local” have become less frequent, we do still visit occasionally and I must admit that when we do visit, we still sometimes meet and make new friends.

Anyway, it has definitely been some time since I have checked the links on my Swingers Page here, so I will be doing that in the coming week or so.

Therefore my “Question” to you all is that if any of you would like me to add some recommendations of clubs you have visited and particularly enjoyed . . . no matter where in the world you are . . . please do let me know and I shall add them to my pages.

In the meantime, for more thoughts and experiences of Freedom, visit this week’s Food For Thought by clicking upon the button below.

Food For Thought Friday

Xxx- K

Pour Modesty Ablaze A Glass of Wine



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October 30, 2019 · 7:55 am

Modest Secrets #wickedwednesday

Modesty Ablaze Secrets

Well not so much a “secret” . . . more a philosophy really . . . but trying
to never take anything too seriously, and just having fun in everything I do
here at Modesty Ablaze, allows me to celebrate and enjoy my, slightly
out-of-character, double-life.

Actually I’m not sure if that should be triple, or quadruple life? Lol!!!

But what I do know, is that Modesty allows me to have that fun and celebration and freedom of expression, without having to bottle all those feelings up inside!

For more on Secrets, and Out-of-Character revelations, visit this week’s Wicked Wednesday and Food For Thought from the buttons below.

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Food For Thought Friday

Xxx- K

Pour Modesty Ablaze A Glass of Wine



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October 23, 2019 · 7:57 am

The Road Not Taken #F4T

Modesty Ablaze thinking on the rocks

This week’s theme of Relationships at Wicked Wednesday, and The Road Not Taken at Food For Thought, are both trigger-points for me, because they both relate to one of the reasons I actually first began my diary-come-blog postings here at the end of 2011.

Marie’s Relationships asks “what kind of relationship works the best for you?” Whilst Food For Thought asks “what kind of person do you think you would be, or what would you be doing now, if you had taken the other road?”

I’ve recounted on lots of occasions over the years, how Modesty Ablaze began and evolved . . . The More I Have is a brief synopsis if you have not visited me here before . . . but all of us encounter moments that can redefine or change our lives . . . and our relationships. And I know that I have been incredibly lucky that that one specific moment that changed my own path, could have turned out so very, very differently.

For me, not being able to live with the feelings of terrible guilt I was going through at the time, I just had to confess to Hubby that I was having an affair. But instead of creating arguments and disgust . . . and the end of our marriage
. . . that confession directly led us both into the most fulfilling and wonderful lifestyle that neither of us could have possibly imagined.

It didn’t all happen at once, of course, but that long, long night all those years ago, started us on a new road, new journeys and new experiences that we are still enjoying and discovering today.

So . . . and I know this is a terrible cliché . . . but I really do think that it is from that honest communicating, opening-up, and talking about things, that the best relationships are built on.

If I had tried to keep my “infidelity” secret, tried to carry on with lies and deceit, with all the “out for the night with the girls” excuses, I will never know where life may have led me. But I am certain it couldn’t have possibly been as fulfilling and empowering . . . and fun . . . as the journey I am, still, enjoying now!!!

And, of course, it almost certainly would never have led to Modesty Ablaze.

For much more on Relationships, and Roads Taken or Not,
click on the buttons below.

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Food For Thought Friday

Xxx- K

Pour Modesty Ablaze A Glass of Wine

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October 10, 2019 · 8:39 pm

Modestly Safe #F4T

Mistress Modesty Ablaze Safe Words

When I first decided to explore my Femdom “hobby” from just the sort of
home-play fun that I’m sure lots of couples indulge in, to a . . . shall we say . . . wider range of participants, I knew I had to properly research the etiquettes and sensible, codes of practice that would be required.

I was extremely lucky to attend a number of classes and events organised by
two of London’s most experienced Mistresses . . . the wonderfully fun and motivational Madame Caramel, and the beautiful and inspirational Miss Kim Rub.

From each of them I learnt the standard norms of safety and behaviour not just to safeguard myself, but also to safeguard those who may wish to submit to . . . my own style(s) . . . of female domination.

And the importance of safe-words and perceived, and actual, limits of all those involved was always the first consideration for organising . . . and implementing
. . . a meeting / session.

But, of course, as with all things in life, it is from the actual physical experience of participation in something, that one gains the most knowledge and feelings. And I quickly realised that for many of the subs with whom I session with, the actual sense of begging to “stop” is often all part of the huge release and extreme pleasure that they feel. They want to keep gasping “Oh, Mistress please stop” when actually they wish for the experience, and the pleasure, to continue.

So Yes, a safe-word is always necessary, and responsible for both parties, to have set and agreed upon, before a session begins. But, as well as words, I have found from my own experiences, that it is more than a word from which I can sense that enough is enough. It is often from that feeling of personal connection, communication, that leads me to slow, or stop completely, when I know that my submissive has reached that blissful summit.

And whilst at the beginning of my fun Femdom journey, I visited numerous events at ClubRub, Pedestal, ClubBlackWhip, Torture Garden et al . . . nowadays, I much prefer the experience of sessioning with just one, or two, submissives in the Chambers of my choice, rather than the loud and more impersonal surroundings of a club event.

Because it is from that more personal interaction, that the most enjoyable moments of submission and domination . . . for all of those involved . . .
can be experienced.

For more Safe Words, at this week’s Food For Thought Friday simply
smack the button below.

Food For Thought Friday

Xxx- K

Pour Modesty Ablaze A Glass of Wine



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August 28, 2019 · 9:37 pm

Modestly Why ? @F4TFriday

Modesty Ablaze on the Rocks

This week’s theme at Food 4 Thought Friday asks “The Why of Blogging” and in particular, “What is it that compels you to write?”

I have posted before . . . in July 2014 actually . . . on how Modesty Ablaze first came about in my “Past, Present and Why I Blog” Wicked Wednesday post. But as to the how’s and why’s of continuing to post???

Well . . . I suppose it is partly because my pages here allow me to indulge my exhibitionist streak . . . though in “real life” I am actually quite shy and reserved.

But it is also because, despite often worrying that people will surely get bored with my constant “holiday snaps”, I do get so many emails from people asking for more.

No I don’t mean, just asking for more naked photos . . . I mean asking more about my lifestyle, my “kinks”, my experiences . . . and my thoughts on all sorts of relationship or personal issues.

And I often feel guilty that I just can’t seem to find the time these days, to answer all of those messages personally.

So . . . being a more “visual” person, rather than being able to easily communicate my thoughts in words . . . I hope that my occasional photo-posts here express my core belief that above all else, we should always be true to ourselves . . . and always be just who we want to be !!!

And so that is what “compels” me to keep posting . . . as often as time allows . . . here at Modesty Ablaze.

For more Core beliefs, at this week’s Wicked Wednesday, and more Why’s
at Food For Thought Friday simply click on the buttons below.

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#F4TFriday

Xxx- K

Pour Modesty Ablaze A Glass of Wine



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