Category Archives: Food For Thought

In grey, damp January … my thoughts always turn to warmer, sunnier days. And usually to the thought of wishing I was back standing on my favourite, summer holiday, beach!!!

And this morning my thoughts have also turned to continuing with my homage to the wonderful “Corrupting Mrs Jones” blog page of “Thirty Dirty Questions” which can be found from her blog header bar >here<.

So … this morning’s post follows-on at the very end of the year with my own answers to questions 6 to 10 … having re-titled my own version as Fifty “Sexy” Questions rather than the “Dirty” connotation … because I’ve always wanted to push the view that sex is not “dirty”. I’d rather think of sex as just … “sexy”.

As I said then, I’m not sure how far-along I’ll get in keeping-up with my answers … but I thought it might be fun … and would certainly re-kindle some lovely memories.

So … here are my answers to Questions 11 to 15:

Question 11: Would you ever visit a sex therapist? What would be the reason and what do you think their advice would be for you?
I am grateful that I’ve never had the need to even think about visiting a therapist. So my answer to this question is definitely a “no”. However, as I’ve said in one of my earlier answers here, I do believe that “great sex always begins with great communication”. So if anyone should ever have doubts, or worries, or questions, in their mind about any aspect of their “private life”, then I think they certainly should seek professional help and guidance. (What’s that old saying? “A problem shared, is a problem solved!”

Question 12: Is there anything about sex that embarrasses you, causes shame or fear or makes you nervous? And what is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you during sex?.
LOL !!! No, nothing about sex embarrasses me!
And whilst there are probably many embarrassing moments … I can’t remember any that caused anything more than just loud bursts of laughter … and a momentary pause before continuing!!!

Question 13: What do you tend to fantasize or dream about when it comes to sex? What kinds of porn or kink are you drawn to?
We all have sexual dreams and fantasies don’t we. And if not, then you absolutely should … because I always have, since as long as I can remember. And although in my earlier pre-teen days I know I felt guilty and ashamed about those fantasies, meeting Hubby when I did, soon allowed me to release and let-go of that shame and guilt. And begin this amazing journey!!!

And as to what kinds of things I am drawn to … well all kinds obviously!!! Depending on the circumstances, and my mood at the time … and as long as it’s always entirely (and obviously) completely consensual … then I’ve always enjoyed exploring almost everything in the sexual and kink spectrum.

Question 14: If you were to create a sexy playlist intended for a hot date at home, what would be on it?
Again it depends on the circumstances … and my mood at the time … and the person, or persons, involved.
And to be honest, once I begin to immerse myself, and get “lost-in-the-moment(s)”, the background noise and environment always gets lost and muted, and definitely becomes the last thing on my mind.

Question 15: Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex?
Oh, yes, on many, many occasions.
The first occurred quite spontaneously sitting at the bar of our favourite Swingers Club, talking with the lovely, lovely chaperone who always greeted “newbies” and showed them around the club, and explained the rules and “etiquette” of how to conduct oneself and what to do should either of us feel uncomfortable.
We became very friendly with this lovely lady, and as we soon became regulars (every Saturday night in those first few months lol !!!), and were normally among the first couples to arrive (the club was very, very local to us!!!), we would always sit and chat until it became busier and she would begin doing her “meet and greet”. And on probably, our third or fourth visit, as we were sat at the bar, she began gently stroking my forearm and then just lent forward and began giving me the most wonderfully passionate kiss.
I’d never kissed a woman before, certainly not in that way, and it was just the most deliciously soft and wonderful … and dizzying … experience. Then she stopped, and without a word, stepped down and led me round into the main playroom … where we just continued!!!
Needless to say, Hubby followed to sit across the room and watch … and told me it was one of the most sexually arousing things he’d ever seen or felt.

As it certainly was for me as well.

And as you can imagine, it certainly wasn’t the last!!!

So … if you’ve read this far … perhaps you would like me to continue? Let me know your own thoughts … and opinions. Because, I do truly believe that “great or awesome” anything comes from great or awesome communication.

Xxx – K

P.s. If you’ve read my “Modestly Returning” post at the beginning of April 2024, you will know that most of my content here was lost, or corrupted, at the beginning of 2022. We are slowly working on re-instating that lost content, and repairing the broken links, so please bear with us. I hope this won’t dampen your enjoyment here.

Xxx – K

I’d like to take this moment to wish you all a happy, healthy, and fun New Year’s … let’s hope that 2025 will be a huge improvement and bring better times FOR EVERYONE across the world, than has been the case during the last 12 months.

I also thought it was time to continue with my homage to the wonderful “Corrupting Mrs Jones” blog page of “Thirty Dirty Questions” which can be found from her blog header bar >here<.

I began my own version earlier this month with my answers from 1 to 5 … though I preferred to re-title my own version as Fifty “Sexy” Questions rather than the “Dirty” connotation. Just because I’ve always wanted to push the view that sex is not “dirty”, I’d rather think of sex as just … “sexy”.

As I said then, I’m not sure how far along I’ll get in keeping-up with my answers … but I thought it might be fun … and would certainly re-kindle some lovely memories.

So … here are my answers to Questions 6 to 10:

Question 6: What are your thoughts on foreplay? Favourite types, Best Experiences, Wishes?
On a personal / emotional level … if I have become sufficiently interested in a potential partner to develop the relationship “further” … then foreplay is always hugely important, and an essential part of every meeting. Even with SubbyHubby!!!
And for me that could just start as cuddling and kissing … leading to teasing and tantalising … leading to fondling and stroking. And then usually to oral and physical stimulation which always heightens the arousal and desire for “more”.
Having said all that, I must admit that in our early swinging-club days there were certainly many occasions when just the general “atmosphere”, or perhaps what had gone on earlier in the evening, had left me aroused and excited enough to forgo the necessity for any foreplay at all!!!

Question 7: What parts of your lover’s body are you most drawn to? If you don’t currently have a lover, consider past or future lovers.
I’m not ashamed to say that I love cocks. I love observing all the different shapes and sizes and skin textures and colouring. And it doesn’t have to be just that of a lover … just seeing a naked man, any naked man, it is always the first thing my eyes are drawn to. Even when we may be on one of our naturist beaches, or club events. Even if I have absolutely no desire to engage with them physically, or emotionally, in any way what-so-ever … I just can’t help but look. I simply love to watch the way it may move, or jiggle, as they walk or move about.
And, of course, when it is in a more physical, personal and sexual encounter … then I love to watch, and feel, the way it grows as it becomes aroused.
So … as you can tell, I have absolutely no shame in admitting my enjoyment of, and interest in, the male penis!!

Question 8: Consider a moment in your life of great sensuality, eroticism or sexuality. Then answer the questions that Mary Oliver does in her poem “Gratitude” as they apply to that moment? For those unfamiliar with the poem, her questioning points are those in italics below)
If I had to think of one specific moment in my experiences … and as I was just mentioning our swinging-club days in Question 7 above … it would possibly be remembering my first “unexpectedly explosive” evening at the Club. Because it was so unexpected … and certainly sensual, erotic AND most definitely sexual!!!
So … What did you notice?
Everything about the environment, the people, and the situation as we first began to explore and wandered into the “main open play” area to witness a mass of bodies on a huge padded mattress in the centre of that room.
What did you hear?
The sound of sex … and enjoyment … and release … of people enjoying their bodies, and each other.
What did you admire?
Everything about what was happening in front of us.
What astonished you?
How amazingly aroused I instantly was.
What would you like to see again?
I saw those situations … and joined-in with them … on many occasions in the months that followed.
What was most tender?
I’m not sure it could be described as “tender” in a physical sense … but it was certainly tender and special for me in every other way.
What was most wonderful?
The obvious passion and enjoyment and sexual release of every person involved.
What did you think was happening?
Oh … it was quite obvious what was happening for all those involved at that moment. For myself, I was just amazed at how instantly aroused and overwhelmed with sexual desire I was.

Question 9: If you were to recreate the early days of your favourite sexy relationship, what would they look like? Would you change anything?
As I say, that moment was recreated … and indulged in … on many occasions over the next few months. And I certainly wouldn’t want to change anything about that occasion and the many empowering moments it gave to me from that moment on.

Question 10: What would you want more of in your sex life?
I have been incredibly, amazingly, lucky to have enjoyed some wonderfully exciting and empowering experiences over the last two decades or more. And have met some wonderful, and life-long, friends in the process. But as we change and “mature” over the years … (and I mean “mature” in a more physical sense as our bodies change and age, because I hope I never “mature” emotionally or personally!!!) … then much of those particular moments may now be in the past. BUT I know I could certainly never ask for anything more in my sexual life. And I certainly will never regret any of those wonderful experiences.

So … if you’ve read this far … perhaps you would like me to continue? Let me know your own thoughts … and opinions. Because, I do truly believe that “great or awesome” anything comes from great or awesome communication.

Xxx – K

P.s. If you’ve read my “Modestly Returning” post at the beginning of April 2024, you will know that most of my content here was lost, or corrupted, at the beginning of 2022. We are slowly working on re-instating that lost content, and repairing the broken links, so please bear with us. I hope this won’t dampen your enjoyment here.

Xxx – K

I’ve been following the wonderful “Corrupting Mrs Jones” blog pages for years and years now, having first discovered her via Sinful Sunday I believe. Firstly, I was drawn to her fun and beautiful photos, often set in glorious locations and featuring her lovely, and enviously impressive, nipples!

But the more I read through the thoughtful and wonderfully expressive and interesting words that normally accompanied her photos, the more I became engrossed in her, and Mr Jones, lifestyle and experiences. Because … despite being a hemisphere in physical-distance apart … that lifestyle and experiences seemed to be so similar, and as fulfilling, as that shared by Hubby and I.

And those similarities were even more apparent as I began reading through her “Thirty Dirty Questions” section from her blog header bar >here<:

Gemma herself had found the inspiration of those questions from another blogger, Brigit Delaney (who no longer seems active), but under Gemma’s progression has since evolved into “50 Filthy Questions”. So, with Mrs Jones permission, I thought I’d love to join-in and follow that concept with some answers of my own to the same original questions.

I’ve preferred to re-title my own version as Fifty “Sexy” Questions rather than the “Dirty” connotation. Just because I’ve always wanted to push the view that sex is not “dirty”, I’d rather think of sex as just … “sexy”.

But anyway … I’m not sure how far along I’ll get in keeping-up with my answers … but I thought it might be fun, and would certainly re-kindle some lovely memories.

So … I thought I’d start with just the first Five:

Question 1: How do you define awesome sex. (ie what makes sex better than good)
I always look back on the morning after the night before, (or in the hours after if the event wasn’t actually in the evening lol!!!) and think “Was it fun? And was it exciting and different?” Because that is for me, what makes things “awesome”.
Whether an hours-long, passionately, indulgent session of slow and gentle lovemaking, building up to bed-sheet-creasing, and consuming, series of orgasms and wind-downs, or instead … perhaps brief, spur-of-the-moment encounters in the most unexpected and unplanned situations.
So if it was fun and exciting … and yes different … then that is an awesome, memorable and wonderfully fulfilling experience.
But of course, in any of those situations, I think that what will always make them “better than good” is that one needs a good connection with ones partner, or partners. I have to feel completely at ease with myself, and also at ease in the actual moment/situation. And, at the same time, I think there needs to be a special communication, verbally for me at least, in order to completely let oneself go and fully enjoy the moment.

Question 2: How do you feel about public displays of affection (PDA). You can take this as far as kinks in public.
Um … I’m not sure about this one actually. Hubby and I always held hands in public when we initially started “courting”. And would perhaps occasionally exchange quick pecks on the cheek, as we strolled or perhaps were having drinks at a bar or pub. (I was young and very shy of course).
But then as other “friendships” developed, and if I or us, as a couple were out in public with a lover, or another “special” couple, hand-holding or public pecks on the cheek with someone other than Hubby would probably be rather unlikely. We’d reserve that for behind-closed-doors!
However, during our swinging club experiences, kissing and fondling and then obviously “more”, with new “friends for the evening” would not be a problem at all. It was just natural! But, I suppose, those situations are not really “public” in the specific sense of the question.

Question 3: What are your sure fire turn ons and / or turn offs?
“Turn ons”
I always find someone who is confident, yet NOT overbearingly so, and fun and slightly cheeky in a nice, suggestive way is going to gain my attention, and possible interaction. And, of course, easy interaction once again is going to come through good communication. But always of course with a sense of respect and humour.
“Turn offs”
For me, everything that is the opposite of what “turns me on” is guaranteed to put me off. So … someone who doesn’t have that “sparkle” of easy engagement and interesting conversational approach, is very unlikely to capture my interest. And certainly, any hint of arrogance, or disrespect will instantly have me politely saying “no thank you”. This is true for me in everyday life and “normal” situations, but even more so at swingers clubs or events.
And, of course, it should go without saying that, in any of my fetish, or FemDom occasions, arrogance and/or disrespect is an immediate no-no. Such bad-behaviour in my presence wouldn’t even get to the stage of qualifying for the punishment that the subject may actually be desiring!!!

Question 4: What do you think about when you masturbate?
Oh goodness … So many different things on any different occasion!
Because, in my case, my very catholic upbringing and schooling, and all those mores and morals in ones early years, has an undeniable impact on ones thinking and morals doesn’t it???
Then I met Hubby (lol!!!) and his assertion that “everyone masturbates, even the queen … even the pope”!!!
And suddenly everything changed … moments of wonder, and exploration and … oh my … excitement AND fun!!!

So what to I actually think about?
Well … in the early days of our relationship it was probably on the fun we’d had, where we’d been … and where we’d ended-up!!!
And then, I discovered “vibrators” … and “me-time” took on a completely … and wonderfully fulfilling … different meaning!!!
But then as time went on and I really began finding myself and my newfound freedom and free-thinking … and especially in my first extra-marital “fling” (I think you’d need to read my About page for more explanation) … it would always be about the night after. Or, about the next meeting to come.
And then, in our early swinging club days, I’d almost always wake-up the morning before feeling very nervous, but incredibly excited and incredibly horny. And then on the morning after, thinking about the previous evenings fun, someone we played with, someone we didn’t. Oh my !!!
And then, from my fascination with all things naughty, discovering Fetish and FemDom which inspired my Mistressing hobby! Which led me into a completely new territory of completely embracing my sexuality and self-belief and empowerment.
And goodness, even thinking, and writing these notes down here has made me begin to feel quite tingly …
(And I did post some similar thoughts on masturbation in my “Food For Thought” posting back in 2018).

Question 5: What are your thoughts about porn?
It was way, way back in the days of VHS tapes that Hubby and I first viewed porn on our tiny (it seems now) front room television. And I can’t deny that I did find it arousing. Just because it was sex and … at first … seemed fun and “naughty”.
But … we both quite quickly found them awfully false and contrived and, most importantly, actually less and less fun.
Then we discovered Nina Hartley and Jeannie Pepper. Both women, and both whom, through not only their performance, but through their eyes and smiles in the way they actually seemed to address the camera, seemed genuine and REAL. And it seemed to me, left me in no-doubt of their consensual enjoyment and involvement in what they were doing.
For me … though many I’m sure will disagree … they actually championed a woman’s sexuality and a woman’s right to express, and be proud of, one’s sexuality.
And THEN … and even more game-changingly important for me … I discovered Cindy Gallop and her amazing MakeLoveNotPorn. And if you’ve been reading me here for any length of time you will already know how much I love the ethos and open celebration of body-positivity and sexual freedom that I continue to believe in.
And I say, continue to, because I know that with the ever changing, and growing, reach and power of the internet, the “porn industry” is a contentious and worrying issue. For which I don’t have, or know, the answers to …

So … if you’ve read this far … perhaps you would like me to continue? Let me know your own thoughts … and opinions. Because, I do truly believe that “great or awesome” anything comes from great or awesome communication.

Xxx – K

P.s. If you’ve read my “Modestly Returning” post at the beginning of April 2024, you will know that most of my content here was lost, or corrupted, at the beginning of 2022. We are slowly working on re-instating that lost content, and repairing the broken links, so please bear with us. I hope this won’t dampen your enjoyment here.

Xxx – K