Modest Lubrications @Lubezilla

They say Great Sex is made from Great Communication . . . and whilst that’s certainly always been true for me, I would like to add another line to that mantra . . . “great sex is made even greater by great lubrication”.

Because as I’ve found as I’ve “matured” over the past few years, I really do need more lubrication than I used to. It’s just a natural consequence of growing a little older of course. The desire is still there . . . but as our bodies change, particularly through menopause, we produce less natural juices don’t we.

If you’re a regular visitor here you will know that I’ve been happily non-monogamous for a long, long time. (And I stress the happily . . . and long
. . . LOL!!!!) And in the earlier years of our open-relationship lifestyle I was actually very naïve about lubricants. And possibly even quite dismissive . . . as I simply didn’t ever seem to need any additional wetness.

The only time I would ever think about lube was during swingers evenings when, of course, it was a mandatory accessory . . . but as I say, I was naïve and yes, I will admit, probably uninterested.

What changed my mind? Well . . . nature changed my body . . . and my body changed my mind. So, over the past few years lubrication has been a new, and necessary accessory to my lifestyle.

And as it became more “necessary” . . . So it became much more important for me to think more about exactly what it was that was being spread on to my personal bits.

In the first instance(s) of course, I could sense what I liked and what I didn’t. Not from reading the label or asking for a detailed ingredients breakdown as it was about to be applied. After all in the “subdued” lighting of the couples room at Swingers-4-Fun et al, it was hardly the environment or appropriate moment(s) to enquire. But I could “feel” the sticky, tackiness (sic!!!) . . . or smell . . . or taste, the residue or after-burn! So I suddenly decided that I needed to take much more of an interest in lubricants and what they contained or what they were made of. After all, we are all much more careful nowadays of the additives and ingredients in the food we eat, and the deodorants, soaps and shampoo we use . . . so surely we should be just as careful about the personal body-products we use. In fact even more so !!!

Of course it was easy . . . very easy . . . to quickly shun the straight-off-the-supermarket-shelf, seemingly universally popular and well-known brand-name make. You know the one, the one that looks like cough-mixture and has that consistency of a slow-drying glue!

But where to go from there? After all, each of us are different! And each of us react in different ways and different situations. And nowadays there are just so many different sorts and different styles of lubricating options available.

Ok, well perhaps still not, in one’s local supermarket. But certainly on-line!!!

Water-based, silicone based, oil, hybrid . . . lubricants for anal play, naturally organic lubes, flavoured lubes, non-flavoured lubes. And what about all those ingredients, what are Parabens? Glycerins?

So many options and so many questions . . . it can be confusing and overwhelming even just thinking about them. But don’t worry, I’m not going to go into all those sorts of details here . . . you know me, I’m not the most technically-minded at the best of times.

But I don’t have to be . . . and you don’t either . . . because has the most incredible, fully-descriptive and comprehensive lists and links for anything and everything to do with lubricants, that I’ve ever come across.

This amazing website at is like a wonderfully wicked-pedia online-resource for what seems like almost every brand, and every type of lubricant, one could ever imagine. And browsing their fabulous website you can’t help but be impressed by the detail and research, and the obvious amount of time and effort that has gone into it’s development.

The layout is clear and easy to read and every link and every product seems to have an amazingly detailed description of  lubricant type, size, content, and ingredient-list of just what it’s made from.

AND every item has it’s own 1-minute-plus, descriptive video with product demonstrations and concise information about the particular brand and it’s uses. They are simply fabulous!!!

The Lubezilla 101 section of the site features blog-style postings covering a huge range of interesting and informative stories and helpful hints and answers to all those Frequently Asked Questions that one might have about not just Lubricants, but Condoms, sexual health and best practices.

AND . . . I’m getting all “lubricated” the more I talk about it . . . . . . doesn’t just stock lubricants, they also offer an absolutely huge range of Adult Toys and Accessories and an equally large range of Body and Beauty and Sexual Hygiene products.

For my North American readers has free delivery on all orders over $50 . . . BUT don’t worry, they do ship internationally as well, and the packaging is discreet and noted as “novelty products”.

As I say, I’ve become quite excited as I’ve been sitting here typing away about . . . and I’m sure you will soon be thrilling to learn more about lubrication . . . and more . . . as well.  So I truly urge you to start with their lovely welcoming video by clicking on the link above (or >here< if you’re already too excited to be able to scroll back up the page!!!) I know you won’t be disappointed.

Lubezilla Dot Com:
Modesty Rating:
10 out of 10
Pros: Easy to navigate and superbly comprehensive and informative pages and links.
Cons: I honestly can’t think of any!

Additional links: At Twitter  . . . and I really do recommend you browse their Lubezilla 101 pages for wonderfully comprehensive information and FAQs!!!

There are no affiliate links used within this review.

The Modesty Rider:
I realise, of course, that there are already thousands of long-established Sex Toy Reviewers and Review sites . . . most of whom will be far more adept at explaining all the technical details and specifications of things. But for me, sexy clothes and lingerie, sexy toys . . . and even sexy books . . . are all about adding a little fun and excitement to things. So that is how I tend to approach my reviews and videos!!! Just to explain “how it was for me” in a fun, and light-hearted, way without taking things too seriously! Chances are that if something makes me giggle and tingle and feel good, it will score higher on my Modesty Rating.

Visit some of my most recent Sex Product and Video Reviews at my Sex Toy Review page >here< or special buy links for specific products >here<.

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Filed under @Lubezilla, Modesty Ablaze Sex Toy & Product Reviews, Sex Toys, Sex Toys Reviews, womens Erotica

A Modest Shoe Fetish #sinfulsunday

It’s always exciting whenever I meet someone who share’s my fetish for shoes!

And I enjoy that real sense of sharing even more . . .

When I can tell that my choice of footwear is obviously being appreciated!

In fact it often makes me want to just . . .

Jump for joy . . . up and down . . . and over and over again !!!

I’m sure there will be lots more joyful excitement to be found this
Sinful Sunday, by stomping on the lips below!

Sinful SundayXxx – K


Filed under BDSM fun, Female Dominatrix, Fetish Fashion, Mistress Modesty Ablaze, Sinful Sunday

White Lace #Boobday Friday

I do love lace! It makes one feel . . . well you know . . . lady-like.
And I do love this particular white lace.

I may not wear it often, but when I do it does make me feel nice!!!

  And I’m sure that when you visit Hyacinth’s Boobday Friday today, you will feel nice too, because as she says . . .

Boobday is a body-positive meme where women share images of their bodies in order to show that there is beauty in all of us.  With confidence comes power and with power comes confidence.

I totally, totally agree . . . and I’m sure you will LOVE seeing different and powerful boobs, this and every Friday, from clicking Hyacinth’s
lovely cleavage below!


Xxx – K


Filed under #boobday, Boobday Friday, Sexy Lingerie

Modesty Ablaze reviews the “Fetish Fantasy Shock Therapy Fantasy Wand” @UberKinky

I’ve been curious about electro-play for some time . . . curious because I have often been asked about it by prospective submissives . . . but the only Electro-Stim toy in my Mistresses-box up until now (my Cockshocker) has proved a little too extreme for most of them.

So I was delighted to receive the Fetish Fantasy Shock Therapy Fantasy Wand from my favourite on-line Kink store, Uberkinky, not only because of it’s description as being “perfect for electro-sex beginners”, but also because it allows hand-held, rather than fixed strap-on, use. There are lots of different electro-stim devices and apparatus at electro sex pages, but from the look and design of the Fantasy Wand, I felt it would be ideal for a little more “sympathetic” control.

The Wand is nicely packaged in a glossy cardboard box with excellent illustrative instructions and tips printed on the reverse and sides. But I must admit that when I first unwrapped the wand from it’s bubble-wrapping, the plastic-moulded shaft itself did feel a little “cheap”. However, once I overcame that initial disappointment, it is light and easy to hold and is certainly simple to operate with a large control button which allows one to cycle through nine different levels of intensity. Each level is indicated by a red LED number which displays at the top of the switch as it changes. The power, or charge, is provided by one normal AA Alkaline battery which slides into a compartment on the base of the handle. The battery is not supplied by-the-way, so you would have to purchase that separately, (or borrow from one of your other battery operated toys, or household items).

The wand itself is just over 6 inches long but is supplied with three different, detachable, heads which screw onto the top of the wand and each gives a slightly different sensation, particularly at the lower intensity settings*. The flat head (30mm square) has five rows of what I would describe as small “spikes” raised above the surface. They are actually very small but give the feeling of “sparking-pinpricks” on contact. The larger cylindrical head (40mm long and around 60mm in circumference at its widest point) gives a more tangible “jolt”, whilst the smaller, rounded head (10mm in diameter) has a more “tingling” sensation. *These three, distinct, sensations are more discernible at the lower intensity settings because, for me at least, if the intensity is set on the higher level of 8 or 9, my own uncontrollable reaction is to pull away immediately on contact . . . without wanting to try and differentiate on the specific sensation! I am obviously an electro-sissy and not capable, in any way, of being on the receiving end!!!

And I know this because I found it quite tricky initially to operate the wand. Not tricky in the sense of turning it on, or selecting the level I wanted to dish-out, but tricky in the actual application . . . because in order to discharge-the-charge, one has to firmly hold the head of the wand against the receivers skin, and not just tap it against the skin as I kept wanting to do. I think the anticipation of imagining that the receiver would immediately “jump” meant that initially I was involuntarily just tapping the head on my sub’s flesh and not holding it down, firmly in place. So, of course, I was pulling the head away far too quickly for it to actually discharge.

But once I mastered my rhythm of application . . . I actually found it quite fun to watch and apply as my “testing-assistant” jumped and exclaimed . . . and described the sensation of each charge. Oh, and there is no need to worry about over-doing the charge, because simply holding down the button for more than a few seconds automatically turns the wand off. I found this a bit tricky to master at first as well, but . . . practice makes perfect!

I did learn rather quickly though, to not touch the “receiving” partner or submissive, with my free hand because that obviously completes an electrical circuit, or contact, and sent a surging jolt right back to me! So be warned, if you are an electro-sissy like me, apply . . . but don’t touch . . .

Uberkinky do say that conductivity can be improved by applying some electro-gel to the receiver’s skin . . . and whilst I haven’t used a specific electro-gel, I have found that applying some normal water-based lube has a similar affect.

Now I realise that real aficionados of electro-stim will probably consider The Uberkinky Fetish Fantasy Shock Therapy Fantasy Wand as a rather inconsequential toy . . . and I also realise that electro-play will certainly not be for everyone, especially as we all have different levels, or limits, as to what we like or can take. But, after a bit of practice, I’ve actually found it to be quite a lot of fun. And I think the different intensity levels and settings, also make it a useful starting toy for some sexy playtime fun with one’s own partner. It even comes with a small black-out mask to heighten the intensity with the extra-fun element of surprise.

And, in any event, for the sake of comparison and different options, Uberkinky have lots of “other” electric items and accessories available at their Electro Sex page >here<.

The Fetish Fantasy Shock Therapy Fantasy Wand:
Modesty Rating:
6 out of 10
Pros: Light and easy to hold. 9 different “intensity” levels.
Cons: The heads are a little “fiddily” to screw on at times and I worry about cross-threading after a period of time.
Material: ABS Plastic body and Metal conducting heads.
Measurements: Just over 7 inches with one of the heads attached. (The wand shaft itself is just over 6 inches in length).
Colour: Silver.
Power: One AA Alkaline Battery (not supplied!)
Waterproof: No.
Does not include: Latex, Phthalates
After-care: As with all sex-toy products the shaft and heads should be cleaned with damp cloth and dried immediately after use.
Safety Warning: The included instructions leaflet warns against use for people with various medical conditions such as heart disease, epilepsy, pregnancy, etc. Also should not be used internally!!!
Supplier Product Link: The Fetish Fantasy Shock Therapy Fantasy Wand
Additional Supplier Links: Uberkinky Electro Sex
The Modesty Video Review:
To possibly follow, so just let me know if you are interested. (P.s. It does already feature in one of my private videos!)

Additional links: UberKinky at Twitter  . . . and I really do recommend you browse the UberKinky Essential Guides for wonderfully comprehensive information on all things Kink!!!

The Fetish Fantasy Shock Therapy Fantasy Wand was sent to me, free-of-charge,  for an honest and un-biased review.

The Modesty Rider:
I realise, of course, that there are already thousands of long-established Sex Toy Reviewers and Review sites . . . most of whom will be far more adept at explaining all the technical details and specifications of things. But for me, sexy clothes and lingerie, sexy toys . . . and even sexy books . . . are all about adding a little fun and excitement to things. So that is how I tend to approach my reviews and videos!!! Just to explain “how it was for me” in a fun, and light-hearted, way without taking things too seriously! Chances are that if something makes me giggle and tingle and feel good, it will score higher on my Modesty Rating.

Visit some of my most recent Sex Product and Video Reviews at my Sex Toy Review page >here< or special buy links for specific products >here<.

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Filed under BDSM fun, Female Dominatrix, Mistress Modesty Ablaze, Modesty Ablaze Sex Toy & Product Reviews, Sex Toys, Sex Toys Reviews, Uberkinky Fetish Toys

Modest Red Ribbon #sinfulsunday

I always like to wrap things up with a tight red ribbon and bow . . .

And the visitor to my chambers last night certainly seemed to appreciate my attention to detail and finishing touches!!!

There’s simply bound-to-be more sinful attention and detail to be discovered this Sunday, by smacking the lips below!

Sinful SundayXxx – K


Filed under BDSM fun, Fetish Fashion, Mistress Modesty Ablaze, Sinful Sunday

A Modest Profile #wickedwednesday

This week’s theme at Wicked Wednesday, is to compose one’s own Dating Profile. You know . . . for one of those on-line dating applications! So I thought I would add mine to Marie’s list, but it actually wasn’t as easy as I thought it might be! In fact it has taken me most of the day, and . . . being new to all of this, of course . . . I’m still not sure if I’ve done it correctly!

Shy, retiring, mature . . . and modest . . . wall-flower, seeks patient gentlemen for meaningful, long-term, relationships.
Must enjoy quiet, peaceful strolls in the countryside . . . or local parks . . . but equally be happy to accompany me on my travels around the city on public transport (buses and tube).
Must have own camera . . . and a keen and genuine interest in movies is essential!
Must be open-minded and willing to share!
A high tolerance to pain and discomfort would be advantageous!
The ability to maintain a well-stocked wine cellar is an absolute necessity!!!
The successful applicants will be required to undergo a rigorous interview process and, if successful in the first instance, will be subject to regular review and re-appraisal!!!

So . . . I’m sure I’ve missed something obvious and important . . . but do you think I might have many applicants?

Anyway, I’m sure I will be able to find more tips on successful Dating Profiles from clicking the button below!


Xxx – K

Oh and P.S. – Huge thanks to the lovely, lovely John Tisbury for taking my dating profile photo above!!!


Filed under Wicked Wednesday

Modest Red Boots #sinfulsunday

I always find that the important thing about a new pair of boots . . . is that one must break-them-in slowly!

One step at a time . . . just gently pushing and flexing . . .

. . . and applying a little pressure . . . and weight . . . to one’s sole and heels . . .
before I feel really comfortable and know I will enjoy wearing them again
and again!!!

And I’m sure you will discover lots more sole-ful images at this week’s
Sunday, by gently prodding the lips below!

Sinful SundayXxx – K



Filed under BDSM fun, Female Dominatrix, Fetish Fashion, Mistress Modesty Ablaze, Sinful Sunday

Modest thoughts #eroticon 2017

I attended my first Eroticon in 2013 and had enjoyed it so much that I was positive I’d be there a year later. But that following year, and in fact every year since, fate had intervened and I’d always been abroad. So imagine my despair when the Eroticon 2017 dates were first announced, and I discovered it was on the same weekend as a very important, pre-planned family event.

But excuses were made, plans were changed, “disappointments” and awkward questions were dodged and diverted . . . as I was so determined to journey to Camden Town for at least one day!

And so I did . . . and I had such a lovely time!!!

I’m not a writer . . . and I don’t even consider modestyablaze to be a “blog” as such . . . but I just hope that my occasional posts will make anyone who comes across them smile, or perhaps even laugh a little . . .  because I always try to approach everything I do with a sense of fun and adventure.

And, with fun and adventure uppermost in my mind, the most important thing I got once again from Eroticon this year, is that sense of “community” . . . that feeling that there ARE actually so many other people out there who share similar sex-positive, body-positive values and one’s individual rights to choose (about everything!!!)

And so to my one day, the Saturday, at Eroticon . . .

Highlights? Well the whole day was a highlight, from Sarah Brynn Holliday’s session on “Blogging as Feminism and Social Justice” right through to the “Steel and Stilettos Fitness Masterclass” with the gorgeous JetSet Jasmine and King Noire (which I felt I just had to attend after the amazing array of luncheon options sponsored by Chaturbate).

And in-between . . . having previously giggled and laughed-in-agreement all the way through both of Girl On The Net’s two books, I giggled and laughed-in-agreement all the way through her wonderfully inspirational “Pitching 101: learn to sell your ideas”. (Whispered quote from Hubby halfway through GOTN’s presentation “she’s the only other woman, apart from you, I’ve ever heard that can say so many words without pausing for breath!”).

Oh . . . and I simply must mention the lovely Pixie and Andrew in their KinkCraft Workshop for their unwavering patience in instructing me how to make a collar, knot by knot. (Was I the last to finish???)

Oh . . . and browsing the wonderful sponsor stalls at break time. Meeting the entirely lovely William from Doxy (STILL the best . . . and more on that soon!!!), swooning over my new blue Dildo from Ceramic Pleasures, feeling the pulsing, tingling #QueenBee from HotOctopuss, and marvelling at all those sparkly coloured creations from Godemiche . . . and, of course, the very different and intriguing Ruby Glow.

And, as I said, experiencing that wonderful sense of “community” from the Friday evening “Meet and Greet”, and “Saturday Night Social” . . . and all the wonderfully friendly and inspirational people there.

If you were there, you will know what I mean . . . if you weren’t then book now for Eroticon 2018 !!!

This week’s theme at Marie’s Wicked Wednesday, is “Meetings” and I’m sure there will be many more “meetings” to attend from tapping the button below!


Xxx – K


Filed under Eroticon 2017, Wicked Wednesday

Modestly finding #eroticon 2017

During our morning stroll last Saturday Hubby and I had discussed several different routes to Eroticon 2017 this weekend.

Well . . . I’m so happy to say . . . we made it !!!

And we had a simply fabulous time . . . attending some wonderfully fun
and interesting sessions . . . and meeting some wonderfully fun and
interesting people. I’m already looking forward to next year!!!

But, in the meantime, I hope you will join me at this week’s Sinful Sunday, by tapping the lips below, for yet more weekend fun and enlightenment!

Sinful SundayXxx – K


Filed under Eroticon 2017, Sinful Sunday

Planning our route to Eroticon 2017

“It’s Eroticon next week” I said to Hubby this morning during our morning stroll. “You know we could probably walk to Camden along the towpath”.

“Or maybe even hire a canal boat . . . it’s only two or three locks away.”

“But you would need to put that bloody camera away and help me with these
heavy lock gates!!!”

“And look there’s some lovely little tunnels and bridges we’d travel under.”

“Shall we knock on one of the windows and ask if they do weekend charters?”

“Oh I suppose you are right . . . we probably have left it a bit too late to find a mooring space now. Perhaps it would be easier to take the tube or catch a bus
or cycle there on our bikes . . . or maybe even just walk there.”

But, in the meantime . . . to get myself in the mood . . . I think I’ll just stroll over to this week’s Sinful Sunday from the lips below!

Sinful SundayXxx – K

P.S. We had such a lovely stroll this morning and I hope it will be added to the “Lock” category at Jades Scavenger Hunt pages. And don’t forget, there are lots of my other Scavenger Hunt journeys at
my Scavenger Listings page . . . and now over 90 different locations on
my Scavenger Slideshow page as well!!!   

Scavenger Hunt Platinum Award

Xxxx – K


Filed under Eroticon 2017, Scavenger Hunt, Sinful Sunday