A Modest Formula #wickedwednesday

Probably the question that I have been asked most often over the past two years, and one that I have not added to my  “Questions You Have Asked Me” pages . . . is what “satisfaction” do I get from my Mistressing adventures.

Most people seem to assume that it is just a simple “enjoyment” from administering pain. It is an easy assumption to make, given most people’s view of Domination and Submission, but actually for me nothing could be further from the truth.

Whilst I had always had a fascination for the “fashionista” imagery associated with Fem Dominatrices, I had also long been curious myself about the emotions and desires of both sides of the relationship for those involved. Surely it couldn’t all just be about the giving, and receiving, of pain . . . I knew there had to be more to it than that.

But for many years, it remained just fascination and curiosity . . . until, during a visit to Sh! my favourite women’s shop in London’s Hoxton, I read about an event they were hosting by Madam Caramel, one of London’s most well known dominatrix.

Fortified with lots of glasses of wine, and accompanied by my lovely friend SheLover, I was immediately captivated and entranced by Caramel’s larger than life personality, her wonderful candour . . . and most of all her engaging sense of “fun” as she explained her experiences and views on her role as a Fem Domme.

My curiosity and interest was instantly aroused. I just had to learn more, and soon discovered that the equally legendary, Miss Kim Rub, held Mistress Workshops nearby. I enrolled for one of her Saturday afternoon sessions . . . and a whole new world of understanding, and adventure, suddenly opened-up before me.

Like everything in life, the power of the dominant/submissive relationship, is different for everyone . . . but for me it is much more about the connection, the chemistry of the psychological aspect of the interaction, rather than just the physical.

And most importantly, it has to be fun . . . on both sides . . . for it to work and be enjoyable for me. Every situation has to be completely consensual . . . and have that fun-factor . . . because being able to fulfil another person’s strongest desires and fantasies, and share in their enjoyment of that fulfilment, is what gives me that sense of “satisfaction”.

And even three years on, I am still continually amazed and intrigued at the different requests I receive . . . and the relationships I continue to build with a growing list of eager submissives.

Because of course, domination and submission is not all about impact, and whether I am requested to “stamp-me-vitals”, or am asked for a “firm hand-spanking”, or a “judicial caning”, or perhaps just sit back and receive a 15 minute “foot massage” or “toe-sucking foot worship” . . . there must always be that interaction, that special chemistry.

For more Chemical Reactions . . . gently smack the rainbow button below!!!

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Xxx – K

7 Comments

Filed under Female Dominatrix, Mistress Modesty Ablaze, sexual empowerment for women, Wicked Wednesday, womens Erotica

7 Responses to A Modest Formula #wickedwednesday

  1. This is a fascinating read. I never realized you have gone to workshops and how you discovered your dominant side. Thanks for sharing!

    Rebel xox

  2. Oh I’m so thrilled that you’ve let us in to this 💋
    Absolutely fascinating. And I’m utterly captivated by these beautiful photos x x

  3. I am in complete agreement about the “fun” factor. So much of what I see depicted about F/m interactions revolves around pain. That’s not my reality, not at all. Chemistry, trust, consent, enthusiasm? Yes to all of those. Pain? Maybe, maybe not. But no matter what the interaction, it absolutely *must* be FUN.

    Great post! 🙂

  4. The bit that really jumped out at me about this is fun, Michael and I have a saying…. if it isn’t fun then don’t do it… and I think it is an important thing to always remember in kink

    Mollyx

  5. That 2nd image is so powerful, yet the words soften it with context without diminishing.
    I’m a lover of the psychological, and whilst I enjoy receiving pain, it’s the mental agility I need to perform to process those sensations where I get my satisfaction and fulfilment from.

  6. This is wonderful and open share. Nice knowing more about you and how you got to this point in your life 🙂

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